Taking The Helm
by Diamond Bluebell
Summary: Set during the movie voyage. Feelings of guilt and frustration are weighing heavily on Jim, and his frequent clashes with the Legacy’s crew are soon to put his life in great danger. But at least he knows he can trust Silver to look out for him. Or can he?
1. You're Only Human

Treasure Planet

Taking the Helm

Summary: Set during the movie-voyage. Feelings of guilt and frustration are weighing heavily on Jim, and his frequent clashes with the Legacy's crew (Scroop in particular) are soon to put his life in great danger. But at least he knows he can trust Silver to look out for him. Or can he?

**AN: **This was originally going to just be a one-shot focussing on Jim's feelings after the scene where Silver comforts him (I've always loved that scene).

But now through the wonders of inspiration this is turning into a proper story set within the movie.

So basically the arrival at Treasure Planet will be delayed for a day or two for this story to take place, my intention here is to let the situation get to its absolute worst before the mutiny even breaks out, so yes I'm afraid some of our favourite characters may be harmed in the making of this. You can expect plenty of Jim angst.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Treasure Planet

Chapter 1: You're Only Human

_"Now you listen to me, James Hawkins_

_You got the makings of greatness in ya_

_But you gotta take the helm and chart your own course_

_Stick to it, no matter the squalls, _

…_And when the time comes you get the chance _

_to really test the cut of your sails and show what you're made of…_

_Well, I hope I'm there, catching some of the light coming off you that day…"_

Jim Hawkins was wide-awake, lying listless in his hammock and gazing absently into the darkness of the crew's quarters. It had been several hours since their encounter on deck. Silver's words had crept back into his mind again and allowed a faint smile to play across his lips. Whether he had slept at all that night, Jim wasn't sure. It was a wonder that the old cyborg's words had had such an affect on him. Even though he wasn't sure if he fully understood their meaning

_"Take the helm…"_ he mused silently _"…and chart my own course?" _

The fact that Silver truly believed in him, for some reason he couldn't quite place, made Jim feel warm and content, a feeling which Jim was dimly aware that he hadn't felt since…well, god only knew

But then before he could stop himself his thoughts had wondered back to earlier that evening and his smile faltered as another simple fact brought his contentment crashing down. Mr Arrow was dead, nothing would change that. And no matter how much he wished he could deny it, it was he, Jim, who was responsible. It made him angry to think about it, as he kept trying to replay in his mind exactly what had happened once the Captain had ordered him to secure all the lifelines...

He remembered he could hear nothing except the deafening sound of the crashing waves as the ship approached the black hole. He remembered it being unbearably hot, as there were sparks and explosions all around him. He remembered struggling to keep his balance against the turbulence but forcing himself to concentrate as he swiftly went from rope to rope; fastening, looping tying knots, double knots (like Silver had taught him), tugging on one after the other until he was certain each rope could hold the weight of the entire crew put together

So then… what happened? Did he just miss one of them out by mistake? It seemed to be the only logical explanation. And now Mr Arrow was lost because of it. Could it really be as simple as that?

_"Of course it is." _he thought to himself, frowning_ "Everyone makes mistake. You're only human remember?" _

Jim winced as another memory resurfaced, the images replaying vividly in his mind.

The loss of Arrow had just been announced by Scroop. _"His lifeline was not secured" _he hissed in an accusing tone.

Jim's eyes had met with those of Captain Amelia's. But there was no anger in her expression, which Jim couldn't understand. Arrow's death surely would've affected her most of all. So why wasn't she angry with him? Jim almost wanted her to be contemptuous, enraged even, to shout at him for his folly, anything! But no, instead he received that… look, a look that could only be described as a mixture of sadness and disappointment. It scared him a little, not to mention it brought back countless memories of his mother.

It was just his luck. The Captain hadn't exactly been fond of him from the start, and now _this_ had to happen. _"Well, there's not much you can do about it now" _he thought dismally_ "No use wishing you can change the past, because you can't" _

As Jim continued to stare blankly he noticed the room gradually beginning to grow lighter. Morning must've been approaching. Jim sighed. Pretty soon it would be back to the same-old daily routine; get up, help prepare breakfast, do the washing and cleaning, then getting started on the deck. He wasn't sure if he could face it, going back to his regular chores like nothing had ever happened.

And how was everyone else going to see him now? Well, to be honest he was far beyond caring about what the crew thought of him. But with the Captain it was an entirely different matter…

After a few moments he sat up suddenly

_"Wait, what am I thinking? There **is** something I can do…" _

Some kind of logic in Jim's mind seemed to have fallen into place. He quickly slid out of the hammock, pulled on his boots, grabbed his jacket and headed for the stairs to the main deck. An idea had occurred to him. It wasn't exactly ingenious. In fact, though it was rash decision, it was a pretty obvious solution. Yet it was one of those solutions which seemed simple yet impossible at the same time. What he did know for sure was that it was the right, honourable thing to do, and that it had to be done sooner rather than later.

Jim stepped out on to the open deck and figured it must've been the break of dawn. The mood of the Etherium was particularly calm, the dull grey clouds suffused with a swirl of pale blue. He was also aware of how deathly silent it was without the crew's stomping and scrambling whilst going about their work. Right now all he could hear was the distant humming of the engine. He looked towards the upper deck where he could see the door to Captain Amelia's stateroom.

"_Probably too early to go barging up there now"_ he thought. After considering it for a moment he decided it would be politer to wait for her to arrive on deck

He made his way over to the rigging hanging over the main deck and climbed up to his usual seating place where he liked to sit and watch the Etherium when he was taking a break from mopping the deck. In this quiet empty space he tried to clear his thoughts and prepare himself for what he was about to.

He hadn't exactly thought his plan through. But essentially what he had in mind was an honest apology, plain and simple…. right?

No, he knew this wasn't going to be easy by any means. But it had to be done and it had to be done right. He would explain himself sincerely. It was the least he could do, since the Captain was probably more hurt by the death of her first mate than Jim could have known, and it was _his_ fault that he had been lost.

The very thought made him shudder involuntary and he found it difficult to repress a momentary feeling of hopeless injustice. He hunched up and put his head in his hands

"_Get a hold of yourself. The sooner you accept this as your own mistake the easier it will be to clear things up with the Captain."_

He wasn't gonna kid himself by thinking that saying sorry would fix everything, but it might just make things easier for her if he took full responsibility for what happened to Mr Arrow. And besides, to leave things as they were would be almost unbearable, he wanted to face the consequences of last night as soon as possible. It felt right this way.

Although Jim had to admit it also felt different. Perhaps he wasn't used to feeling such remorse for all the bad stuff he did back on Monstressor, and he felt slightly guilty now as he could barely recall a single occasion when he actually apologised to Sarah for any of those things.

Jim sighed and returned his gaze to the Etherium once more, allowing the morning breeze to play gently across his features as it slowly drifted by

But on the other hand, by going on this expedition he had promised Sarah that things would change, that he would make her proud. He scoffed. Yeah okay so things hadn't exactly gone smoothly up until now, but it wasn't too late to change that was it?

It was like Silver had said; he had to stick to his course no matter the squalls, and that's what he was going to do.

Starting today he was going to make things right


	2. She Hates Me

Chapter 2: She Hates Me

The minutes seemed to drag endlessly while the colours of the Etherium gradually turned a more distinct shade of blue. The Legacy continued to drift in relative silence before it was finally broken by the sound of a door opening and closing. Jim looked round expectantly, peering through the rigging at the figure that had just emerged on the bridge.

It wasn't the captain, but the ship's astrophysicist Dr Doppler, busying himself at the main control panel. This was strange since it was usually the captain who was always the first one on deck for her daily morning inspection before they were underway.

Carefully Jim slid down the rigging onto the deck and made his way up the stairs to the bridge. He took a passing glance at the door to Amelia's stateroom. It was locked. That wasn't too surprising. Figuring that there was no point in knocking, Jim decided he would go and talk with the old friend of the family.

As he approached the main control area, the Doctor seemed not to notice the boy's presence as he was muttering various calculations to himself, assessing the ship's damage after last night's incident with the black hole. Jim watched as he closely examined one of the ships broken gauges

"How bad is it, doc?" he asked, smiling as he noticed the canine-man jump in surprise

"Oh, Jim. Good morning." he said, fumbling with various pieces of navigation equipment "Well it's err…it could be worse, put it that way. Those waves could've caused a lot more damage than they did. Frankly I believe we were quite fortunate"

So that was the doctor's diagnosis. Jim said nothing, though he felt very inclined to disagree with him

"So er anyway what are you doing up here this early Jim?" Delbert asked turning to face him with a light-hearted smile. There was no reply.

Then, noticing the boy's downcast expression, he shifted his glasses and spoke again "Was there…something you wanted to talk about?"

Jim briefly recalled Doppler's exclamation some time ago that this voyage would be a great opportunity for the two of them to "get to know one another". Well, that didn't really work out since Jim was confined to being the cabin boy and spent all his time with Silver, while the doctor spent most of his time with Amelia. In fact, Jim suddenly realised how little they had spoken since the day of the launch. But then again it wasn't all that surprising given how hard his cyborg mentor had been working him.

Then another thought occurred to him. Did the doctor even realise just how much manual labour he had had to endure these past few weeks under Silver's demands? And why had he, Jim, never thought to complain about it? It wasn't like he signed up to be the ship's over-worked cabin boy. So perhaps he was actually starting to enjoy working with the old cyborg, more than he realised

Coming back to the present, Jim looked down and dug his hands deeper into his pockets as he replied. "Well, actually I was…kinda hoping that I might be able to speak with the captain, if that's all right."

"Oh…I see." The doctor shifted uncomfortably "Well I'm um… I'm sorry Jim, but I'm afraid the captain says she will not be seeing anyone for the time being."

_That figures_ Jim thought to himself. He didn't need to ask why, he already knew.

There was a tense silence. Delbert stood awkwardly regarding Jim as he slumped against the base of the mast, the disappointment showing clearly on his face. "Was it something urgent?" he asked finally.

Jim continued to stare at the deck as he replied slowly "Well…not really urgent but…" then he trailed off, unsure whether he wanted to tell him or not

"It's just that…" Jim hesitated slightly "I…wanted to… apologise to her, personally, for what happened to Mr Arrow"

"Oh…" Another awkward silence followed. Jim looked up at Delbert, noticing the doctor's increasingly nervous disposition as he tried to find the right words. Jim could hazard a guess at the sort of thing he was going to say and he didn't want to hear it. It would just irritate him.

The doctor cleared his throat "Now Jim. Look, you don't need to apolog--"

"C'mon Delbert I owe her that much, at the very least!" he said angrily, "It was _my_ fault wasn't it?!"

"Jim, listen to me. What happened last night, however regretful, was an _accident_. The captain knows that just as well as everyone else. And like she said, Mr Arrow was fully aware of the risks on this kind of voyage."

_"Yeah exactly. He took the risk of depending on me," _Jim thought bitterly to himself.

"My point is…" the doctor continued, his voice laced with sympathy "…that no-one wants you to have to bear the burden of the responsibility. In fact, we are grateful to you if anything."

Jim stared at him quizzically

"Like I said before, we were fortunate. I mean, we could've just as easily lost more than one member of this ship's crew, had it not been for you Jim"

Jim suppressed his bitter amusement as he recalled how Silver had tried to console him with that very same point before Jim had bitten his head clean off.

"Do you really think that?" he asked flatly, since he already knew the answer

"Of course I do, Jim. And besides…" he lowered his voice "None of this would've been possible if you hadn't found the map in the first place. You're a member of this team and a worthy asset to this expedition"

Jim could only smile feebly in response. He hadn't expected anything less from his old friend, you really had to hand it to him. And deep down he appreciated those words but still, coming from Delbert, it just didn't seem to be enough. He wanted to hear them from someone else

Jim stood up straight, still facing the doctor "So…does this mean that I can talk to the captain now?" he asked hopefully

Delbert looked awkward again "Well…no." he lingered, choosing his words very carefully "I'm sorry Jim, but like I said, the captain doesn't wish to be disturbed at the moment"

Jim sighed in exasperation, his earlier disappointment resurfacing. He briefly considered asking him whether she had actually said that, or whether the doctor was merely avoiding the possibility that she simply refused to speak to the cabin boy personally, unwilling to hear him out, let alone forgive him.

Jim had a forlorn speculation that it was the latter.

"Jim…" said Delbert pityingly, hoping to put the young man at ease "you must understand--"

"Oh don't worry I understand" Jim replied nonchalantly, casting his eyes to the floor once more. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet, but the tone was surly and resentful

"She hates me."

"What?" the doctor said incredulously "Now Jim, don't be ridiculous of course she doesn't--"

He was interrupted by the loud sound of the ship's bulky crew emerging from below deck, grumbling and snarling as they made to resume their posts. The shrill voice of Mr Onus rang out above them "Ve are preparing to go undervay, doctor!" the six-eyed alien said as he climbed up the mast to the cuckoo's nest

Jim started. Was it that time already? He was supposed to be down in the galley by now!

Cursing himself, he wondered how long he had been out on deck. He had completely lost track of time. And to make things worse it was likely that he had missed breakfast, not to mention Silver was probably gonna give him an earful for being late. He sighed in annoyance as he suddenly felt all the effects of not getting any sleep that night creep up on him.

And as if that wasn't enough, he suddenly felt incredibly foolish for opening up to the doctor like that. Why had he even bothered? He should've known that the captain would never want to speak to him again, never mind accept an apology. All he had succeeded in doing was to make Delbert worry about him more than he probably already did. All in all it had been a complete waste of time.

"Uh...listen Doc …don't worry about what I said, ok?" he said as casually as he could manage, and he began to make his way back to the stairs.

"Oh…er, are you sure? I thought that--"

"No seriously, just forget it" he said sharply. Then, glancing back at the face baffled with concern, "Really, it's no big deal. I'm sorry I ever mentioned it" he said in a voice he hoped sounded reassuring. He tugged on his jacket and carried on walking "I've gotta go, doc"

"Jim, wait a moment." He called as Jim walked onto the main deck

"I can't. I've got work to do, remember? I'll talk to you later!"

And with that, the boy disappeared down the steps leading to the galley.

The Doctor remained on the bridge for awhile after watching the boy leave, arms folded, one hand stroking his chin, an instinctive stance for when he was deep in thought. And this was certainly a perplexing situation. He made a mental note that he would check up on Jim once things had calmed down.

He sighed _"Suppose I had better raise this creaking tub" _he thought and returned to his work.

Not far behind him, the door to Captain Amelia's stateroom was slowly pulled shut.

* * *

**A/N:** Well there you go. It's a bit slow at the moment I know but don't worry I promise things will pick up very soon. And Silver's definitely gonna be in the next chapter. Incidentally, if you're wondering what that "creaking tub" thing was about, it's what Amelia calls the ship just before they take off in the movie. 

R+R please and let me know what you think!


	3. Everything's Fine

Hey there! Well it's certainly been awhile, sorry for the long delay. To be honest wasn't really sure where this story was going so I'm kinda improvising at the moment, please bear with me :-)

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, particularly kaz320- because it was your review that inspired me to get my act together and continue this, so without further ado…

Chapter 3: Everything's Fine

"An' what time do ye call this lad?" Silver said haughtily from the kitchen area as Jim came down the steps into the galley. "Ye shouda been down 'ere almost an hour ago"

"Err…yeah sorry I um…overslept" Jim lied smoothly, figuring that excuse was believable enough since he was pretty sure he looked about as tired as he felt

"Well" Silver chuckled "I'll 'av to remember to give ye a proper wake up call tomorra then won't I" he said over a large pot of boiling stew

"Yeah I guess" Jim sighed and ran a hand though his hair. Right now he would've liked more than anything to be able to go back to bed. For a split second he considered the possibility of asking Silver if he could perhaps take the day off… then almost snorted with laugher at the absurdity of the idea.

"Somethin' funny Jimbo?" Silver asked grinning as he continued to stir the contents of the pot.

"What- no it's nothing" he said, helping himself to one of the ripe purps from the barrel. "So, what's my first job today then?" he asked propping himself on top of the kitchen counter.

"Well…" Silver turned to him smiling "There's still a whole loada barnacles stuck to the hull of the ship that need removin'"

Jim was about to take a bite, but then froze and looked at him, horrified "Barnacles?"

"Yup"

"Forget it. No way" Jim said with a grimacing look

Silver couldn't help but laugh at the boy's expression. "Thought ye might say that" he said drying his non-metallic hand on his apron. He knew full well that the lad had, over the last few weeks, developed a strong disliking for that particular task

"Seriously Silver, I'll do anything you want except scraping barnacles." Jim pleaded, recalling the many hours spent painstakingly prising endless amounts of the damn things from the ship's hull while Silver hollered 'helpful suggestions' over his shoulder. He could still feel a twinge in his elbow just by thinking about it

"Alright" Silver said and walked over to where Jim was sitting "Tell ye what then, there is somethin' else ye could do now that ye mention it"

"Sure, name it"

"The corridors below deck need tidyin' up. 'See after all that turbulence from last night a couple of the boxes, crates an' barrels were dislodged. It's a bit of a mess right now so they need t' be stacked up an' tied down again." Silver put his hands on his hips and leant down slightly to look squarely at Jim "Think ye can do that?"

Jim thought about it and shrugged "I guess so" he said "You want me to tidy up all of it?"

"O' course." Silver replied "It'll only be a few boxes, even _you_ can manage that"

"Yeah whatever, that sounds easy enough"

"And ya don't mind mopping the deck after yer done?"

Jim paused, raising his eyebrows at Silver _"Would it make a difference if I did?" _he thought, knowing full well that he didn't really have a choice in the matter. He knew he was going to be completely exhausted by the end of the day. He sighed heavily "No…" he replied flatly

"Good. Off ye go then, and ye can take Morph with you as well" he said and returned to his stew

"Ok..." Jim said jumping down from the counter and looking round "Umm…where is Morph anyway?"

"Well he's definitely in 'ere somewhere" Silver replied

Jim turned and walked a few paces around the kitchen. "Hey Morph?" he said scanning the walls and the many various hanging utensils for any sign. Then he jumped in surprise as the purp he was holding suddenly flew out of his hand and began circling round his head chirping happily before coming to land on his shoulder in a familiar, smiling translucent pink form.

"Ah there he is" Silver chortled "Well it's a good thing ye didn't decide to eat that purp, eh?"

"Yeah" Jim laughed and rolled his eyes at the excitable globule "C'mon Morph lets go" he said as he made his way out of the galley, Morph trailing happily after him.

"Jimbo…"

Jim stopped just before the steps and turned to face the cyborg somewhat tentatively, he couldn't possibly expect him to do any more chores today could he?

"Yeah?"

Silver left the boiling stew unattended and stepped away from the kitchen area, he looked at Jim with a curious expression on his face, and seemed to be having trouble forming his words.

"Evrythin's….all right with ya now then, is it?" he asked

"Uhh..." Jim was slightly thrown by the question. He hadn't expected Silver to be asking him this now, mainly because they didn't usually speak much during the day unless it was work related, they would normally save the talking until the evening when things were dying down.

Yet judging by the tone of his voice, Jim couldn't help but wholly believe that Silver must really be concerned about him. Remembering what he had said last night, he figured Silver was checking to see if he had heeded the cyborg's advice, hoping that he no longer felt angry, frustrated and above all, guilty.

Jim swallowed. He couldn't tell him about this morning.

"Sure" he said finally "yeah, everything's fine". He hoped he sounded convincing.

Silver raised an eyebrow at the boy but said nothing. Jim shifted nervously under his stare and looked away, suddenly becoming increasingly paranoid that the cyborg eye of his somehow had the ability to read minds.

Jim had always considered himself to be quite adept at lying, hell he had enough experience back home when he tried to get himself out of certain situations, not that it ever did much good. Besides police-robots were one thing, with Silver he almost felt guilty for not being completely honest and open with him. Then again, what right did he have to burden the cook with all his troubles? Silver had done more than enough for him already.

But after a moment of silence Silver simply nodded. "Good" he said and returned to the kitchen.

Jim waited a few seconds, and then was suddenly aware of Morph flitting around the top of the stairs chirping impatiently. He was just about to leave when Silver called him back again.

"Just a second lad" he said. Then without warning he threw an object towards Jim who, just managing to catch it, looked down to see a ripe fruit which had been specially cooked and prepared by Silver

"Because ya missed breakfast" he said grinning "Now don't ya be late again"

Jim smiled and nodded "Thanks" he said and turned to walk up the stairs leading to the deck

As Jim made his way across the deck, he noticed a sudden change in his general mood, sure he still felt tired but he was also more at ease, and somehow he knew he had his cyborg mentor to thank for this.

Since his father left him, Jim had developed a tendency not to really place his trust in anyone. Not even with his mother was there really a bond of trust to speak of. She had, after all, been far more devastated by his dad walking out than he could ever understand.

It didn't matter now, because of Silver. Now here was someone who actually believed he could make something of himself by following his own instincts, and doing what he believed was right.

And that's when the realisation hit him, now he understood this warm unfamiliar feeling of reassurance.

He trusted Silver like he was family.

Maybe that's how Jim was able to smile in spite of the glares he received from various alien crew members that he passed. Although Jim didn't know it, one pair of eyes in particular, glowing bright yellow, followed him menacingly with hatred and cruel intent.

Chapter 4 is up very soon. Well you know the drill- R+R please.


	4. No Longer Welcome

Chapter 4: No Longer Welcome

Jim stood up and stretched after just managing, with great exertion, to heave yet another crate on top of one of the many neat stacks he had succeeded in forming alongside the wall in the dimly lit corridor below deck.

It seemed that Silver's idea of "a few" boxes and barrels was just a little bit of a miscalculation. When Jim had first come down here he was met with a complete bombshell, with so many barrels, crates and boxes strewn across the floor he could barely move around them

He had been there several hours at least and, from what he could deduce as he glanced up and down the corridor, he had managed to clear up most of the mess. And these things weren't exactly light either, which didn't help the job to move any faster.

"All this just to get out of scraping a few measly barnacles eh?" he said smiling up at Morph who hovered just above his head for a second before continuing to flit back and forth restlessly as he had been doing for the past few hours. Jim watched him somewhat enviously, wishing for his seemingly endless supply of energy.

Jim stretched again, wincing as his muscles ached in protest. It was beginning to hit him now just how tired he actually was, though it was unsurprising given that he hadn't slept at all the previous night, and now the heat from the ship's engine was making him feel light-headed. He shook his head in an attempt to regain his focus and disperse the overwhelming desire to retreat to the sleeping quarters and collapse onto his hammock; he had a job to finish after all.

So with a great deal of effort he knelt down and proceeded to tie another one of Silver's expert knots in the rope that would hopefully secure the ship's cargo a little better than before.

Just then Jim heard the sound of footsteps faintly echoing off the walls. He ignored it at first, figuring it must be one of the crew. Although so far he was glad he hadn't encountered any of them below deck, they were all currently being kept very busy to make up for the damage to the ship caused by their encounter with the black hole. It was just as well, since he quite honestly didn't feel up to being in their not-so-pleasant company.

However as the footsteps drew nearer Jim couldn't help but notice how light they sounded, in fact it sounded almost like there were more than two, four even?...

Then, finally, realisation dawned on Jim and he stood up and turned directly to face the glinting, sharp yellow eyes of Mr Scroop.

The arachnid glowered at Jim with a look of utter distaste "What are you doing down here cabin boy?" he hissed. "You're not ssupposed to be in this area"

Jim matched his glare with strong determination "Well it just so happens I was ordered to come down here to clear this mess up."

Scroop grinned maliciously "I thought you weren't acusstumed to following orders?..." he began but was cut off by Morph, currently hovering near Jim's shoulder, as he changed into a crude imitation of the spider alien which earned an appreciative chuckle from Jim whilst Scroop's gleaming eyes narrowed dangerously at the creature, causing Morph to immediately change back to his usual form and dive behind Jim, quivering.

"It's ok Morph" he said, lifting a particularly heavy crate onto a nearby stack. Then he turned his attention back to the arachnid, determined not to let the creep get the better of him. He could put it down to light-headedness, but somehow Jim was suddenly feeling incredibly reckless.

"Y'know I would ask you to help out" he continued, smirking defiantly "Unless you're afraid you might break one of your legs"

He made to walk past, but Scroop immediately shot a long claw out in front of Jim, blocking his path.

Surprisingly Scroop only growled in response to that last comment, his eyes narrowing even more.

"I would watch what you ssay, cabin boy. After all, you are no longer a welcome member of the crew"

Jim fought off the urge to point out that he had never exactly been welcomed by the majority of his fellow shipmates. He remained silent, though he suddenly felt uneasy, wondering what Scroop was getting at.

"Insolent as you are, surely you must understand it's hard to trussst a crewmember who was responsible for the death of another" Scroop grinned wickedly, eyes gleaming "…and the first mate no lesss"

Jim visibly flinched but managed to maintain his composure and reply shortly "That was an accident"

"Funny, that'ss not how the captain ssees it--"

"Would you just shut up and move it so I can get back to work?!" he said angrily, struggling to keep his voice level.

But Scroop ignored him "She'd much rather see you confined to the brig" another evil smirk "...or better yet thrown over-board"

Jim had had enough. "I said get out of my way!" he shouted, shoving the arachnid's arm roughly away. He stormed past him muttering darkly and strode down the corridor "Come on, Morph!" he called over his shoulder. The little pink globule, seeming to have become increasingly nervous by the situation, obediently trailed after him.

Scroop remained and watched them disappear up the stairs. Grinning widely, he was satisfied by how that conversation had gone. He knew exactly what to say to make the boy angry, now he would most likely continue to punish himself, just like he hoped he would

The cabin boy was, however, still a dangerous threat, a spanner in the works of their well-organised plan. Yet if Scroop had managed to be rid of that worthless lump of rock Arrow, and make it seem like an 'accident', surely there was nothing stopping him from just as easily removing that nuisance of a cabin boy.

Of course the only problem was Silver. Scroop had been, in a word; disgusted with what he had heard and seen between Silver and the brat the previous night. Silver was a fool to allow the boy to roam around as freely as he was, being so despicably nosy and obnoxious, it was only a matter of time before he stumbled across the truth.

One thing was certain, something had to be done. Scroop's eyes narrowed into golden slits. It would be done…the next time he saw the boy alone.

A/N: So what do you think? As always, reviews are greatly appreciated :-)


	5. What's Wrong Now?

Author's Notes: Wow. Well it's certainly been awhile…I guess sorry doesn't really cut it but I'll give it a try…..Sorry!! grovels

Anyway, since it's been such a long time since I've worked on this here's a nice long chapter to make up for my absence…

Chapter 5: What's Wrong Now?

The Etherium surrounding the Legacy had gradually descended from brightly coloured swirls into a dark blue blanket strewn with glittering stars by the time Jim had finally finished the laborious task of moping up the entire surface of the ship's deck.

He sighed heavily and slumped against the port side of the ship, feeling completely drained. He shut his eyes and tilted his head back, allowing the cool breeze to play across him and ruffle his dark hair. Thankfully he was the last one on deck now, although the task of cleaning it should not have taken this long.

Jim had deliberately taken his time, purely for the sake of keeping himself occupied. He knew that the more he pushed himself into his chores the less he needed to think. Up and down the deck he had mopped and scrubbed for hours on end, eyes glued determinedly to the wooden boards.

They were his main priority after all. It didn't matter that he felt a twinge of apprehension whenever a crew member skulked past. Nor did he care when he heard them mutter indistinguishably from behind him. And he certainly wasn't concerned by the fact that the door to the Captain's stateroom had remained closed all day.

No, not at all. He'd done exactly as he'd been told and he hadn't let his tired mind overpower him with his troubled, paranoid thoughts. That was all that mattered.

After a minute or so he reluctantly pulled himself upright and opened his eyes to see a miniature mop still performing a slippery dancing back and forth across the wooden planks of the deck.

He chuckled. "Its ok buddy, we're done now" he said as he watched the mini mop materialise back to its regular pink form then glide upwards to land on his shoulder with a smile on its' face.

"Hey you know what?" Jim said, poking the little shape-shifter as he settled tiredly on the boy's shoulder "Why don't you go ahead and find Silver, then you can get some well-earned rest..."

Jim really had to hand it to Morph. The creature had obviously taken his owner's orders to heart, staying fervently by his side this whole time, and now he looked up at Jim's face with large, questioning eyes.

"Look, I promise I'll go straight to bed once I've tidied this stuff away, okay?" he said, tickling the pink globule affectionately.

Eventually Morph seemed to consent, sleepily drifting off Jim's shoulder while making a variety of chirping noises before flitting away below deck to Silver's quarters.

Jim continued to stare at the place where Morph had disappeared. He heaved a heavy sigh. Silver had turned in earlier than usual, probably to catch up on sleep that he had missed after being on night watch duty for two nights in a row.

So it's understandable the old cyborg must've been just as tired as he was, Jim reasoned. But then he felt his jaw clench as this still didn't help to alleviate the niggling resentment that had formed in the back of his mind after what happened when Silver had come to check on him.

_(Earlier that day)_

"So, still at it are ye lad?"

Jim paused in his ministrations as he was shadowed by the familiar silhouette falling over the wooden deck where he was working. He looked round to see Silver grinning at him with his hands on his hips.

"Yeah" he replied tiredly, trying to return the smile as he knelt up, but the movement caused his back to crick painfully and he winced.

Silver frowned "Think ye'd best be callin' it a day now hadn't ye'"

Jim shook his head whilst rubbing the small of his back "No. I'm okay. Besides I still have to scrub the upper deck and….what?"

Silver seemed to be looking over him with scrutiny, which could be very unnerving thanks to that mechanical eye of his. Then Morph flew to his master's shoulder twittering, eyes wide with concern.

"Hmm…" Silver mused. The pet and owner seemed to share a look of understanding before turning back to Jim, who still knelt on the floor and just stared at them both, bewildered, and waited.

"Alright Jimbo, what's wrong now?"

Jim blinked, again thrown by the sudden show of concern "Nothing." he replied automatically. Then after considering the implications of the question he frowned "Why? What have you heard?" he asked, trying not to sound like he was on edge.

"S'written all over yer face, lad…What? Ye think I hadn't noticed somethin' was botherin ye this mornin? Why ye can practically see the rain clouds hangin' over yer head." Silver paused and folded his arms, a deep crease appearing on his forehead

"So...ye gonna be tellin me or not?"

Under that intense frown Jim felt his resolve to stay quiet falter slightly. How did Silver always manage to catch him off guard like this? He turned his eyes away and focussed his gaze on the bristle brush lying in the pool of soapy water which was now beginning to soak into the planks.

It was strange. Now that the opportunity to confide in someone was literally staring him in the face, he was at a complete loss for what to say. Truthfully he couldn't even begin to grasp how he was feeling at that moment, let alone put it into coherent words.

Okay, so sure enough his temper flared whenever he thought about his earlier confrontation with Scroop, but there was nothing new there; they'd been at odds since day one, and he had complained about the arachnid enough times already. What else? Well he was laden with an aching guilt from the events of last night which seemed to reverberate in everything he did and thought and he just couldn't shake it.

Worst of all, he was beginning to regret ever getting himself involved in this expedition in the first place. Kind of ironic since it was his own enthusiasm which started it all, and sure the young boy in him longed to carry on this adventure, to see it through no matter what and reap the rewards. But another darker, more troubling part of him felt nothing but dread, felt like every passing minute on this trip was suffocating him, and right now he wanted nothing more than to find some way, _any_ way off this damned ship—

"Jimbo?"

Something in his face must have exposed this disturbing thought process because he was suddenly aware that Silver was kneeling down on his mechanical leg, now eye-level with Jim.

Jim had no choice but to tentatively return the cyborg's gaze. "Sorry" he said finally, and he managed a weak smile "I guess I'm just a little tired"

"So am I lad" he replied, and a smirk curled his lips "but ye don't see me slopin' about with a face like thunder, wastin' time feelin' sorry for m'self-

"It's not like that" he said indignantly but he didn't sound very sure of himself. Morph, who remained oddly motionless on Silver's shoulder, chirped a sardonic imitation, obviously not convinced.

But of course Jim knew he was being totally irrational about the whole thing. He didn't know where these morbid feelings had come from. Maybe spending weeks confined to the Legacy was just getting to him. As Silver often liked to point out; "This aint no cruise ship"

He had heard about what could happen to people confined to ships for too long, they become restless, irritable and hysterical as a result of what they called 'cabin fever'. Was that happening to him? Well given that he was the cabin boy it kind of made sense. But he didn't want to venture that possibility, as he remembered Silver once mentioning that he didn't believe there was any such thing as 'cabin fever', it was just an excuse used by weak sailors that weren't cut out for voyaging. And besides, Jim noted dimly, everyone else on the ship seemed to be coping.

No, it had to be something else, something worse. Ever since he became a teenager it felt like there was some dark recess in his mind that liked to convince him that the whole universe was against him. But since this morning it had been telling him that no matter what he did to redeem himself…he was still a murderer. That was disheartening to say the very least

"Alright, so…" Silver pressed "what's still going on in that head o' yours that's makin' ye feel like this, and don't be tellin' me it's nothin". There were traces of annoyance beginning to creep into his voice now.

And yet…he was still afraid to open his mouth, lest these ridiculous, fearful notions which plagued his thoughts escaped from him before he could control them. Sure, he _could_ tell Silver everything, in fact the temptation to pour his heart out at that moment was scarily overwhelming, and part of him craved the same kind of reassurance he had received last night.

But that would be a big mistake, a mistake which would follow him for a long time. It felt like chains would forever bind him to the words he spoke and neither he nor Silver would ever forget his moment of weakness.

The solution was simple; all he needed to do was take a little time to clear his head, and figure out how to ride this out on his own. That was what he kept telling himself back home, he didn't want Sarah keeping a nervous eye on him all the time, and he certainly didn't need Silver worrying about him now.

So Jim shrugged and tried very hard to appear nonchalant. "Look, it's like I told you this morning, I'm fine and I really don't need you fussing over me like you're my mother" he said this blithely to show that he only meant it light-heartedly.

Silver let out a low chuckle as he rubbed the back of his neck with his flesh hand. He looked like he was about to say something, but then he suddenly paused and stiffened as something else seemed to catch his eye, causing a deep scowl to cross his features.

But Jim failed to notice this as he'd had an idea. "Hey, I was thinking…would it be okay if I took the longboat out for a spin once I've finished my chores?" he asked hopefully. A longboat ride would be just what he needed right now, feeling the wind of the Etherium rush over you was the perfect way to clear your head.

Silver, however, didn't seem to be listening as he stood up abruptly. "Listen lad" he said gruffly

"I think ye'd best be getting yerself sorted, because I for one am gettin' fed up with this attitude o' yers!"

Jim blinked, affronted by Silver's sudden display of anger. "What attitude?"

"Don't pretend like ye don't know" the cyborg leaned his head back to look down the ridge of his nose at him, the scowl never leaving his face. "Y'know yer really beginnin' to test my patience boy"

Jim flinched. '_Boy?'_ He hadn't called him that in a long while, and he'd only used it instead of his name when he was really angry at him for slacking off. He hated being called that, it felt so derogatory and patronizing and it grimly reminded him of his old school days.

He stood up and drew himself up to his full height ignoring the pain this caused for his aching muscles.

"Like you can talk" he said bitterly "You're the one who won't leave me alone. And besides…" he gave Silver a pointed look "…as long as I'm doing all the work why does it matter to you how I feel?!"

It came out sharper than he meant it, exhaustion had roughened his words. But part of him did genuinely want to know the answer.

Silver glowered down at the boy for a few moments. Even at full height, Jim was a lot shorter than he was.

Finally he replied tersely "It doesn't."

Then he picked up the nearby bucket of water and pushed it none too gently into Jim's hands. "Now quit yer whingin' and get back to work if ye know what's good for ye!"

And with that, the cyborg turned his back to Jim and walked away without another word.

Jim stood motionless as he watched Silver's retreating form, too stunned to even react at all. '_Where the hell had that come from? One minute he's trying to get me to talk and then…' _Jim considered it for a moment. _'Maybe I went too far with that 'mother' comment? No, Silver wouldn't get hung up on something like that. But then why did he just…'_

"Alright, cut it out" he muttered irritably to Morph who had been prodding him impatiently to get moving.

Deciding it would be better not to give it too much thought right now; he tipped Mrs Bucket over the wooden boards and then knelt back down to resume brushing.

After a minute or so he glanced over his shoulder towards the far end of the ship where Silver had stormed off to. He could just make out Silver talking to the bulking Mr Hands (how long had _he_ been standing there?), actually it seemed more like harsh whispering, Silver's manner looked imposing but he couldn't be sure. A few of the other members of the crew were there too.

'_What were they talking about?'_ He frowned. No, it didn't matter, he didn't care anyway. He cast his eyes down again, gripping the brush firmly in his hand. Then suddenly an impulsive tremor of anger shot through him and he barely suppressed a yell as he threw the brush down hard so that it clattered loudly as it hit the deck.

Drawing in a few deep breaths to calm himself down, he brought a shaking hand up to rub his temples. Morph, infuriatingly oblivious to the headache beginning to throb in the back of his skull, flitted animatedly right next to his ear twittering crossly at his unexpected outburst.

Thankfully that anger had eased considerably by the time night had descended. Now under the cool, clear ambience of the Etherium he was a little more composed. Then again he could put that down to exhaustion, like purpose was gradually fading into a distant thought, lost behind a mountain of fatigue

As he cast his eyes over the spotless and almost gleaming deck, he deduced with some reluctance that it had been a productive day as manual labour goes. With another tired sigh, Jim proceeded to move Mr Mop and Mrs Bucket and place them against the wall out of the way.

As he straightened up he suddenly felt that familiar pang which came from eating virtually nothing all day. He had resiliently turned down Silver's offer of a lunch break, and then after their 'disagreement' earlier, Jim hadn't even considered going down for dinner. Stupid pride.

But now that his temper had faded his hunger had returned with vengeance.

Well it wasn't too late to get something from the kitchen now… Something simple like bread perhaps, and maybe some of Silver's stew if there was any left. His stomach growled almost painfully in response. But it wasn't just the hunger which caused a knot to form in his stomach

Jim could hear raucous laughter emanating from below deck. He looked over towards the source of the noise. Most of the ship's crew were down in the galley still; talking, laughing and unmistakably drinking. Silver would usually be down there too, though he would also be the one to eventually call it a night and make everyone go to bed.

Jim tentatively made his way to the centre of the ship, where the steps leading to the galley were laid out on the deck. For a few moments he just stood in the light emitting from below, considering whether or not it would be worth it. His stomach certainly testified to one side of the argument. Yet the galley and the kitchen were unfortunately conjoined, so he would have to go right past them all.

He chewed his lip pensively. It's not that he was scared of the crew…not really anyway. He just didn't know what kind of reaction to expect, after the events of last night, and especially now that he was alone.

Silver had made it very clear that he was never allowed to go anywhere near their drinking sessions without him. But what was the worst that could happen? It's not like he even had to talk to them. All he had to do was go down, get some food and get out. Simple.

So, throwing caution to the wind, he descended down the steps into the warm orange glow of the galley… and immediately found himself infused in an atmosphere heavy with the scent of liquor.

To be continued…

A/N: Hmmm… a bit too much on the Jim angst maybe? Oh well, for some reason I can't get enough of it - so yeah you should probably expect more.

And I've deliberately left Silver a bit ambiguous in this story because later chapters will be from his POV to clear things up a bit. This chapter was just my attempt to play with the idea that Silver's only nice to Jim as long as no-ones around.

As always, reviews are appreciated.


	6. Just a Little Rum

Yes I am still alive, and just so you know I promise I will never completely abandon this story. Anyway here's the next instalment 

Chapter 6: Just a Little Rum

There was nothing unfamiliar about what Jim saw as he took the last step down into the murky, confined space of the galley.

Most of the bizarrely shaped members of the crew were huddled around one of the long tables. This was a common sight. They talked, laughed and muttered indistinguishably amongst themselves, while habitually swigging glasses of what Jim presumed was rum_. 'So they helped themselves to one of the kegs. Silver won't be too happy'_

The air was thick with its sickly sweet smell, but by now Jim had grown used to it. He had witnessed their drinking sessions before, of course with no involvement on his part. But he had enjoyed listening to Silver's animated anecdotes while he watched from the staircase.

Apparently the space creatures were so immersed in their drunken gathering that they failed to even notice the cabin boy's presence. Somewhat grateful, he quietly stepped past them and into the kitchen area. He carefully looked around to see if there was anything left of the day's cooking which would be passably edible. He wrinkled his nose at the congealing remains of Silver's signature stew. _'Would be too much effort to heat up anyway'_ he thought, closing the lid and sighing. He decided instead to settle for the simpler option of bread

But as he picked up the knife, he froze as one of the crew members suddenly slammed their glass on the table.

Instinctively Jim ducked behind the large stove in the centre of the kitchen. He paused. Then when nothing happened he glanced round at the crew's table. To his relief he still hadn't been noticed. Yet the jovial atmosphere of the gaggle of aliens had obviously died down.

One gruff voice resonated more clearly above the rest. Jim didn't move but strained his ears in order to hear what was being said.

"…and if yer ask me, this plan o' his is gettin' to be a nuisance. We've been too bloody cautious fer too long"

"…yeah an' if I have to take another order from that prissy excuse for a captain"

Jim couldn't make out who was speaking, but judging by the serious tone, this probably wasn't something he wanted to be caught overhearing.

"Well…I tells ye one things fer certain. We woulda made a move long ago if it weren't fer _that boy_"

The group erupted in mumbles of agreement

Jim held his breath and listened more intently, ignoring the heartbeat hammering in his chest, desperate to hear more.

"Well, in any case, they'll be no need worryin' bout Long John's new pet once Scroop's through with 'im--"

Suddenly a loud clatter broke the hushed quiet of the galley. All eyes (or 'eye' in some cases) immediately swerved to the kitchen where Jim had just dropped the knife he'd forgotten he was holding.

Jim, knowing there was really no escaping this situation, steeled himself and stepped out from behind the stove and into full view, facing them all defiantly

The crew's startled expressions very quickly merged into looks of scorn and then as they exchanged glances, they smirked, like they had him cornered. Jim swallowed.

Mr Hands addressed Jim in a deep booming voice "Well well…eavesdroppin' are we? You should know your place, cabin boy"

If Jim was afraid, he didn't let it show on his face. He replied in a surprisingly level voice

"As _cabin_ boy I'd say anything below deck is my place" He gave them all a pointed look

"You guys shouldn't have a problem with that unless there's something you don't want me to hear"

He was playing with fire, and he knew it, but for some reason he couldn't stop himself, curiosity had got the better of him.

The crew exchanged wicked glances once again but did not make a comeback remark.

There was a definite pause_ 'Was that it?' _He maintained his position, although slightly unsure of what to do next. He was about to turn and go back to the kitchen when…

"Ye know what, Jim? Yer right. Ye do have every right to be 'ere." Jim blinked, he didn't realise any of these brutes even _knew_ his proper name.

"But someone really oughta teach ye some manners, boy. If ye wanted ta join us, ye shoulda just asked"

One of them brought an empty glass to the keg and began to fill it with rum.

Jim watched with no small amount of unease and scepticism. They had some nerve talking about _his_ lack of manners. But more importantly he couldn't help but notice this was sounding suspiciously like an invitation.

When the glass was filled a reasonable amount it was slid across the table to the corner closest to him. Jim waited. This was a joke, it had to be. He anticipated some kind of punch line, but it never came. All eyes were watching him expectantly.

Wait…were they serious?

It was inconceivable to say the least, not to mention if Silver found out he had consumed even a drop of alcohol he'd blow a casket.

His response was automatic. "No thanks" he said in the politest tone he could manage, and then he went back to the kitchen area.

This was met immediately by a string of verbal protests from the crew, though it sounded fabricated and was obviously just an attempt to goad him. But he wouldn't be swayed.

"Ah c'mon now it's just a little rum, Silver would never 'ave to know" One of them cajoled.

True, he wouldn't. But Jim was fairly certain they'd have no problem telling on him at the first opportunity. Either way he still wasn't tempted. He didn't even turn around.

They started talking amongst themselves again. Then Mr Hands tried a different angle

"Well 'tis a darn shame. After all…we was just about to raise a toast to Mr Arrow"

That got Jim's attention. He looked tentatively over his shoulder as the hulking creature continued.

"Now wouldn't that be an awful sign o' disrespect if ye turned it down?" Mr Hands grinned knowingly. All members of the crew murmured their concurrence, watching for Jim's response.

Jim was trapped. It was a cheap shot, no doubt about that. Every single one of them _hated_ Mr Arrow. He knew this full well and yet…and yet…

A twinge of fear and remorse had resurfaced. That feeling again, the lump in his throat he got when he was trying not to cry...

'_Damn it'_

Abandoning the food, along with any hope of considering what he was about to do, Jim strode over to their drinking table and confidently picked up the glass.

But he examined the dark liquid with caution, very aware that he was under the watchful gaze of the entire crew. As he smelled the rum he was expecting something sharp and overpowering, but instead, the aroma was warm, subtle and spicy. _'Well it can't be poisoned'_ he reasoned, he'd seen them pour it from the keg.

"To Mr Arrow" Mr Hands said "Our fallen shipmate"

"…to Mr Arrow" Jim repeated somewhat mutedly along with the others. Now he had no choice.

Jim took a deep breath, and then in one swift movement he drained the contents. There was a mild burn as he swallowed, but that was just the initial shock effect of the alcohol hitting the back of his throat. Thankfully, he didn't choke.

He slammed the empty glass back on the table with a certain air of triumph. He noticed that the taste the rum left in his mouth wasn't too strong either, nor was it too sweet. It was smooth, very smooth. He liked it.

Something must have shown on his face because not two seconds later another glass was pushed towards him.

Jim raised his eyebrows "What's _this_ one for?"

Mr Hands simply shrugged "How about…" while swilling the glass idly in his reptile-like hand "To a safe an' prosperous voyage"

Jim hesitated. He had managed to down the first without cringing, a surprise in itself. He enjoyed it, but he didn't want to push his luck.

He was still being watched, and against his better judgement he found himself reaching for the glass. _'Well…what have I got to lose?'_

The second time he knocked his head back was easier as he'd gotten over the drink's initial strength. And when he slammed the glass back down next to the other one, the movement was accompanied by a slight head rush. It felt good. He felt good.

When he lifted a hand to brush a lock of his dark hair from his forehead, his hand moved with a kind of liquidity of motion. It was an odd sensation, he felt somewhat separate from his body. It was certainly taking effect quickly, which he put down to the lack of food and sleep. Nevertheless he successfully maintained his blasé demeanour

He was probably coming across as smug, but truthfully he didn't care. This time, his unfazed response was met with an appreciative cheer. Though it was hard to tell from their gross features, some of the crew actually seemed genuinely impressed (albeit disappointed) Like they had fully expected him to take one sip of the sinful liquid and fall flat on his face.

Not that he cared what they thought, but this was the first time he had ever received anything resembling positive attention from them

Unbeknownst to Jim, Hands had leant back and begun muttering to Mr Turnbuckle, while they both watched Jim closely.

"Boy didn't even flinch that time" Hands said "'e may be tougher than we thought"

"Seems so…" Turnbuckle replied. Then after a pause "Ow much ye reckon he can handle?"

Hands scoffed "With that scrawny lil body? Not much more I'd say"

"Care to make it interestin?" Turnbuckle began to fill another glass

"How so?"

"Five Guineas says he'll make it to ten o' those"

Hands watched the glass move over to Jim's side of the table. The boy seemed fine but quite noticeably swayed a little as he accepted the third drink. Hands grinned

"…Yer on"

Jim picked up the third glass, no questions asked this time. All the while thinking that this may be exactly what he needs. Something to numb the pain of physical exhaustion, to repel his growing paranoia, quell his frustrations, and dissipate his anger. Just _anything_ to get out of his head for awhile.

Jim brought the third glass to his lips and proceeded to drink the sweet liquid, effectively choking the voice in his head trying to tell him that this was a very, _very_ bad idea.

To be continued…


End file.
